If you were at Naas this afternoon and thought the clock had stopped, you weren’t alone. In a display of patience usually reserved for tax audits, the field for the William Hill Juvenile Hurdle (and a few others) decided that “racing” was more of a suggestion than a requirement.
The official winning time for the Juvenile Hurdle was a leisurely 4:51, nearly a minute slower than your average Sunday stroll. While spectators checked their pulses, the stewards were treated to a tactical masterpiece—or a very expensive group nap.
The “Tactical” Reality
Despite looking like a group of commuters waiting for a bus that never comes, the slow start was a high-stakes game of “after you.” On the heavy ground, no jockey wanted to be the sacrificial lamb setting the pace. State Pension eventually took up the “running” (standard walking pace), but the real story was the tactical sit-and-sprint that saw Majolique eventually wake up and remember she was a racehorse to win for Willie Mullins.
The Horse’s Perspective: A Blog from the Stable
By “State Pension” (Official Leader of the Slow Movement)
14:35 PM: The Staring Contest
“We’re at the start. I look at Majolique. She looks at the grass. The starter says ‘Go.’ Nobody moves. I think I saw a butterfly land on my ear. I’ve named him Steve. Steve is faster than us.”
14:38 PM: The ‘Speed’ Phase
“Fine, I’ll lead. I’m doing a brisk trot. The humans are shouting something about ‘pace’ and ‘ratings.’ I’m mostly focused on whether I can reach that patch of clover on the left without getting disqualified.”
14:55 PM: Post-Race Thoughts
“We finished eventually. Majolique won, but I feel like the real winner is the guy in the stands who managed to finish a three-course meal before we hit the second hurdle.”
Naas Results: X (Twitter) Posts to the UK Winners
The Irish horses congratulate their faster British cousins at Hereford and Fontwell.
@StatePension_Naas > Shoutout to Passing Kate for winning the 4:40 at Hereford. Must be nice to actually gallop. We spent the first three minutes at Naas debating the philosophy of the finish line. #TacticalMasterclass #SlowAndSteady
@BloodDestiny_Mullins
Congrats to Minella Premier at Fontwell! 🏆 You guys did 2 miles in about 4 minutes? Show-offs. We took so long the sun almost set. Paul had to check his watch twice just to make sure we were still in the same time zone.
@Majolique_Queen
Big win for me today! 💅 To the UK winners: I hear you guys ‘run’ from the start? Boring. I prefer to let the suspense build until the last 100 yards. It’s called cinema. #NaasSpeedway (Not)
Timeform: Best Rated for Tomorrow (Feb 23)
If you’re looking for horses that actually intend to move forward, here are Timeform’s highlights for tomorrow’s cards:
Notable Runners to Watch
• Ayr (13:50): Visual Impact is another one to watch in the opener, identified as a primary threat to the top-rated runners.
• Plumpton (13:30): Keep an eye on the market for Major Major; while a long shot, he remains a horse of interest in the maiden hurdle.
• Ayr (16:30): Lirion rounds off Timeform’s “Ayr Six,” picked as the most likely winner of the lucky last.
• 13:50 Ayr – Orkney Blue
The “Form Pick” for the opening race. He returns to less testing conditions after a win at Carlisle and is highly respected by the Timeform boffins.
• 14:25 Ayr – The G Wizard
A strong contender and one of the leading fancies from the local experts for the second race on the card.
• 14:35 Plumpton – Lumi Plugin
A progressive hurdler who left previous chase efforts behind with a C&D win last month. Despite a 5 lb higher mark, he is rated as having more to offer in this sphere.
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